Stupid Driver Stories

A colossal FUCK YOU to the moron in the E-Class who was in the left lane on an empty freeway as I was merging on from an entrance ramp - and just HAD to merge right into the lane I was merging left into without even bothering to signal. I'm pretty fucking sure I should have hit you.
 
Red_Bull said:
Tonight's stupid driver story is from....myself. Well not so much stupid I guess, but I must've looked like the world's biggest douche (or given the result, a total pro). I was driving along Dequetteville Tce towards Hackney Road. Dequetteville is a three laned road and during peak hour (4pm-6pm) it can be a good strategy to drive in the left hand lane as fewer people use it, and those that do tend to turn down Botanic Road, leaving my way clear to merge back into the two laned traffic on Hackney road.

On this particular occasion I was in the left lane, but misjudged it and moved into the slip lane for Rundle Road. Rather than get dragged into the city, I turned onto Rundle, but then made a swift U-turn as the road was clear*, and rejoined Dequetteville ahead of the traffic lights which everyone else had to stop at. A net gain I guess, but I still felt like a total idiot :p

*Rundle Rd is often used as a carpark which accounts for the parked cars you see in the pic. On this occasion the road was being used as a road.
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I like very much to exploit the roads and do tricks like this, as long as every single move I'm doing is perfectly legal.
 
Going through a country town tonight, speed limit goes from 100 to 60 and then 50kph. BIG signs all the way between the 60 and 50 signs telling you that the 50 limit is approaching as you come to the town limits. They are the huge signs, with all sorts of warnings. Interspersed with the 50kph signs are the big blue and white ones telling you that the Police station is 500m, 200m, 100m up the road, just inside the 50 zone actually.

Big exodus on the road as Tuesday is a public holiday, and lots of people are also taking the Monday off. It's double demerits. I'm not losing any points, so am well prepared for the commencement of the 50 zone and sit 1kph below it. Outside the police station, there are 2 cops, one on either side of the road with a speed gun and a radio each. 100m down the road from each of them are two teams, which I would say, would constitute all the police attached to the station. They are managing queues of cars being pulled over and issuing tickets left - right - and centre. I mean really, this police station has been there for years. Every holiday in the summer they sit there and raise their annual operating budgets this way. You would think people would learn.

And to the big 4WD tanks that insisted on riding up my butt on the flat, and then disappeared in the rear vision mirror up the hills, and then came storming down the other side well over the limit to catch me again and ride 6 inches off my bumper. But every time there is an overtaking lane, you didn't take the opportunity to overtake the irritating obstacle (that would be me) and be on you speedy and merry way. I'm very heartbroken that you did not see the bright orange cop car coming from the opposite direction, even from your lovely elevated driving position. It wasn't me LMAO as I watched said copper light up and do a U-turn behind you and then pull you over. I feel for the lady friend that was sitting next to you with the cranky look on her face, before you got pulled over. She now has several hours of haranguing, frosty looks and cold shoulders to deliver.
 
I think I stumbled upon a van driver on cocaine today. But it wasn't a white van; it was a red one instead. I was on a 90kph motorway, two lanes ofr every direction, heavy traffic, but the left lane was going almost the speed limit, so it was basically two big lines of cars. I was on the leftmost lane, following the car in front of me and followed by the red van. For several kilometers. At some point, I came at my exit, so I put my indicator on and lifted the foot from the gas pedal, to allow the white van in the right lane to clear the way and then merge in to reach the exit (I thought trying to overtake the white van and then cutting him off abruptedly to take the exit was a bit too dangerous and quite an assholish thing to do). While I was doing this, the red van of evil started to flash its lights and honk. No problem, I gently took more time than I needed to merge in the right lane (as I usually do when idiots get aggressive) and then I showed him my middle finger. The subsequent thing is the red van tried to push me in the emergency lane (no big deal, it was already becoming the lane to the ramp, so I was going there already, then followed me on the exit lane before merging back and continue. I was seriously considering granting me enough space for a swift remerging just before the off-ramp, but the idiot got back so I took my chance to go "the other way", which was also my original direction.
 
I think I saw the worst delivery driver in the world yesturday ... buisy road in the city centre, 1 lane in every directon and he was delivering to restaurants on the street out of a little van (the smallest merc sprinter with cooling for the box on the back). I was shopping in different stores on that street so I saw him over the course of like 2 hours on 4 different spots there. Always blocking the traffic without need. There always were a lot of big enough spaces for him in very short distance of like 5 meters, but he just didn?t take them. He always parked in second row even if there was a space and did so for 20 minutes or longer on each spot. One time he parked in second row while the space he was parking in second row from was EMPTY (and more than big enough), he could have just driven in if he wanted to. 4th and last spot where I saw him, he wasn?t blocking the road anymore!!! He pulled onto the sidestrip blocking the entrance to a fucking 30 place PARKINGLOT. Ironically he wouldn?t have blocked it again if he had just cared not to. 2 meters more onto the parkinglot and everyone could have passed him because he would have been past the bottleneck at the entrance ...
I think he is either completly ignorant or does it on purpose because he hates his fellow man ...

Of course ... no traffic wardens or police there to give him a nice ticket :rolleyes: they are all being used right now to control our brand new downtown "Umweltzone" (Pollution-free zone) ...
 
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That's atleast 1.5m? of snow..... first hard movement he makes thats gonna be all over the road :blink::blink::blink:
 
Cowboy said:
That's atleast 1.5m? of snow..... first hard movement he makes thats gonna be all over the road :blink::blink::blink:
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or he'll be on his roof...

anyone ever seen the BMI where they attach a 4kg magnet to the roof of an EVO? opened my eyes on how important the weight of a roof is :shock:
 
IceBone said:
Not mine and not a story, but fits the thread:

https://pic.armedcats.net/i/ic/icebone/2010/01/26/286526_Not_the_person_youd_want_to_get_behind_on_the_highway.jpg
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In Utah you are required to completely clear snow off your vehicle, even the roof.

I've seen people get pulled over and ticketed for it. The problem is that when you turn on your heater the base layer of snow warms up and starts to melt, you slow down or hit the brakes and all the snow on the room slides forward onto the windscreen, blinding the driver.
 
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I don't bother with the metalwork if there's a few mms, but lately we've had about 10 inches to clear and I bought a broom just for clearing the snow off the cars. :D
 
Is that a Russian plate?
I rarely clear the roof/trunk/hood mostly because I don't want to scratch up the clearcoat. On the other hand I NEVER clear the license plate :D
 
Nice one this morning. Okay, Autobahn. I'm already on it, on the left of two lanes. I used that lane because there was a third lane to be added a couple of meters down the 'Bahn, where, speaking of experience, quite some vehicles join in. Also from experience, I know that people entering the Autobahn here tend to change to the middle lane immediately even if the traffic on their lane is going just as fast as them and they could well just stay there.

So anyway, I stayed on the left lane and was surprised to see only a handful of cars entering from the new lane. Speed limit 100 km/h (62 mph), heavily snowing but only a wet road. So this one guy in a car I couldn't identify immediately because of the snow (it just looked quite low, kinda sportscar-ish) jumps to the middle right away, and only a second later to the left lane. He was quickly followed by a Mercedes SUV just behind him, and more or less cutting me off and forcing me to brake quite a bit. But despite that sportscar guy immediately jumping to the winner lane, he just crept on with 110 km/h (67 mph), barely going faster than the slower lanes. Limit changes to 120 km/h (73 mph), the guy continues to go 110. After what felt like eternity, he had managed to pass that one car in the middle lane, and he changed to the middle lane. So did the SUV behind him. So I zoomed past with ease, and what should I see? It's an SL 63 AMG.

I mean I can understand that you feel like you're the king of the road in one of those. But if you are too scared to go Autobahn speeds in this weather, get off the fucking fast lane!!! Just because your car can go worlds faster than mine, it doesn't mean it's okay for you to block my lane when you don't! :mad:
 
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IceBone said:
I don't bother with the metalwork if there's a few mms, but lately we've had about 10 inches to clear and I bought a broom just for clearing the snow off the cars. :D
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This is how you do it:

[YOUTUBE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yoxs0ELG0mA[/YOUTUBE]

I generally didn't clean the snow off when we had some a few weeks ago, but it was never enough to cause a problem anyway.
 
To the fuckwit 4'9" Lantina driving the massive Tahoe: When the road zigs to make room for a new lane, stay between the fucking lines you ignorant ----.

I swear I'm getting a big fuck-all armored bumper, and I'm going to have the fabricator weld on some extra pointy bits so I can rip open the quarterpanels of fuckers who try to muscle me out of my lane. Then I'll sit back and watch them rant and rave, convinced that they are right. I'll let them call the cops and then sit back and enjoy the show as they sign their ticket.

I have motherfucking HAD IT!
 
No bus. Don't overtake the other bus on the large hill on the only 300yd overtake lane section. Then continue to struggle to do 10mph. Good idea? No, that's why you're driving a bus and I'm stuck in 1st where 4th would normally be fine following this godawful A-reg schoolbus struggling to do 5mph that seems to be leaking I don't know what fluid from I don't know where, aka everywhere.

The only thing worse than SUV drivers who can't drive (which we have a lot of round here, as there is a private school at the end of my road, plus a couple more in town) is buses on that hill.
 
SnowCD?

Seriously... 90 minutes? Last time there was that much snow (2 weeks ago, should be back in a few days), I finished 2 cars in 5 minutes... >_<
 
IceBone said:
SnowCD?

Seriously... 90 minutes? Last time there was that much snow (2 weeks ago, should be back in a few days), I finished 2 cars in 5 minutes... >_<
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With all due respect Ice, that is just begging for a joke

Dear guy in a utterly destroyed 125cc bike (back wheel wobbling and everything)

My car is crappy,slow and unreliable. However, it is still a car, which means you should probably think twice before merging in front of me knowing that I'm doing 20 kph more than you.
 
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