Kill a dream

Granted, but you develop dementia and forget them all.

I wish I had my own plane.
 
Granted, but you crash it when you are taking off and the damage is unrepairable.

I wish there were more public holidays.
 
Granted. For each one you lose a day's pay and all school exams are now held on those days.

I wish I had a packet of Tim Tams
 
Granted. And Tam wants her Tim back, so comes round and duffs you up.

I wish I had a packet of condoms. And a use for them.
 
Granted. All your microphones are now waterproof.

I wish I could sing really well
 
Granted. You are Susan Boyle.

I wish that I didn't have any blackheads/pimples.
 
Granted. The Port Wine stain and serious facial scarring and missing nose are much more discreet.

I wish that my hair was always clean and tangle free and would DO WHAT IT WAS TOLD TO!!!!
 
Granted, but then you get cancer, the chemo therapy makes you bald.

I wish I could find that bloody USB stick.
 
Granted. It's in the bottom of the kitty litter tray, and you *REALLY* don't want to touch it

I wish that my body was in perfect working order
 
Granted, but your mind doesn't work properly.

I wish I was better at multi tasking.
 
Granted. But the two tasks that you can multitask are pouring hot coffee into your crotch whilst jamming your finger in a drawer.

I wish that this cough would stop
 
Granted and in it's place you get the flu.

I wish the grass would cut itself.
 
Granted, but it doesn't happen until it's 6 feet high. And even then, it only gets a trim.

I wish that I had the answers
 
Granted. It's so interesting that your brain cannot handle it, and explodes.

I wish that the weather didn't make me hurt so much.
 
Granted. The severe cold has made your body numb.
I wish I was 21 again.
 
Granted. You get to make all the same mistakes all over again.

I wish I had half a million pounds to buy that Eagle Speedster, just so I could listen to it.
 
Granted, but you aren't fireproof, so you just turn to ash.

I wish that I had more knowledge
 
Granted, you're ignorant so nobody is willing to teach you.


I wish I had a girlfriend.
 
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