So I went to this Mercedes launch thing and they let me play with the new SUVs on sale (GLC and GLE/GLE Coupe). There was other yummy stuff (new CLA Shooting brake, C class, A AMG, etc) but alas as time was limited (+- 20 minutes per car), I could only do 2 offroady drives and 2 "onroad" (although I sneakily did a 3rd one)
Sadly, since the offroady coarse was on a quarry, with inclines up to 45%, and it has been raining here for what feels like a week, we were not allowed to do the really fun bits ourselves, but had a driver do it. So the first 2 don't really count...
If you're a bit weirded out by the new names of Mercs, there finally is some logic to it : GLK doesn't exist anymore, is now called GLC (because based on C class chassis), ML doesn't exist anymore, is now called GLE (because based on/roughly same size as E class).
GLE400 Coupe
Supposed to be the new name for the GL, this thing was big inside and out, but also really pretty. It had a buttery smooth V6 engine producing a ridiculous amount of torque, but what surprised me most was the ride and smoothness of it all. it went up and down near vertical slopes (things I would fall down on on foot, in the dry) in the pouring rain without as much as a bump or a nudge. All the electronics do everything, and according to the driver you don't need locking diffs because the 4x4 system is so excellent. Downhill braking help is weird since you don't do anything but set the speed of descent and have the computer figure it out...
Really impressive interior aswell, some of the best I've ever been in.
(found out later this car retails at 73k? and up, which is surprising, but does explain a few niceties inside, aswell as why we weren't allowed to hoon it around an offroad coarse => rolled GLE = me broke)
GLE350d
Pretty similar, but a bigger boot and a more SUV ish exterior, more room in the back too obviously. This one had the Offroad pack which gives you air suspension, and by doing so, the possibility to raise the car even higher, and do even more insane offroady stuff. This one was on standard road tyres (!) on 21 inch rims (!) and still could do more offroad stuff than the Coupe did, despite the latter having large offroad knobbly tyres. This also had guages for how steep stuff was and gradients and such, neat features.
Downhilly bit on the slope looked like this. We maxed out at around 45% incline, I was hanging on the seat belts at that point
Then on the the 'onroady' bit. here we followed a preprogrammed route, but were allowed to drive solo.
GLC220d
A nice bit of road opened itself and I planted the throttle, and because 4x4 no tyre squirm despite being in a horrendous rainshower. Good. Many things I liked about the GLE were also here (proper seats, nice interior, supreme grip and ride, the ridiculously smooth 9 speed autobox). It has settings for dampers/engine/gearbox which you can adjust, which range from Eco (if you're out of fuel and desperate to reach the next filling station, otherwise pointless), Sport (just right), Sport + (too bouncy and choppy over bumps) and Comfort (standard Merc wallow engage).
I know the 220d has 184 hp but it felt a bit weak to be honest, maybe because all of the cars we had driven in before were so overly powerful...
Also because diesel, all the power is in one big lump from 1500-3000 rpm and the rest of the rev range is a bit weak... which makes it hard to gently get away without snapping your neck. After a while the road turned into a very bumpy bit of cobblestone which we traversed at slightly sickening speed, despite potholes, puddles, pouring rain, corners, etc. We were unable to unsettle the excellent 4x4 system even a little. Impressive. 7,5/10
A200d "Motorsport Edition"
One of several "non SUV" cars that got a different route (much cobblestones + speed + low slung hatchback isn't a good combo). I was quite curious because they talked a lot about this in the blurb that it was a facelift + a chassis tweak to make it more sporty (even advertised by mr Hamilton himself). I was dissapoint, son.
Yes,as I said, it was raining, and yes the A class if FWD, but because the chassis is now so pointlessly hard and bouncy, it couldn't get the power down and only spun it wheels when accelerating, and understeered like a bitch under heavy load. May have been better in the dry, but I was unimpressed. Also, the 200CDI engine is good with such a small car, but had the same issue : non linear power delivery : all low down in the rev range. 5/10.
C250 4Matic
200+hp, 4 cyl petrol + 4WD in a nice looking package? I was intrigued. It was the best compromise of them all, had buckets of grunt ALL AROUND THE REV RANGE, superb interior, comfortable seats and ride, it was the best all round car of the day. I was expecting a lot from the engine and it delivered. This one had the 7speed auto, which was a smidge slower than the 9 speed, but still nearly as good as any DSG. I'm still a bit fussy about autoboxes, because they never seem to give you total control (despite giving you M mode and paddles and whatever)... but this one was good, you could let it do what you wanted it to.
I was feeling pretty smug about driving what I thought was the best power/weight car there, until my colleagues came back in this :
Dammit! Shoulda waited for this one instead! 367hp, 520 Nm torque, and apparently it farts fire when you let go of the throttle after flooring it.
Dangit...
sadly, rebuild ALL the A7 
epic mother of all hot hatches.
and it seems previous renters abused 3rd quite badly.
