The "When I come to power I will......" Thread

-Make drunk driving a felony. It boggles my mind how it sometimes takes a dozen convictions and a fatality for serious action to be taken.

-Lower the drinking age to 18. An 18 year old is just as much an adult as a 48 year old, why should they be treated any differently?

-Ban the practice of charging more for car insurance just because you're under 25. I won't wake up on December 30th of this year and suddenly be a much better driver than I was a few years ago.

-Ban hybrids.

-Disband TSA. Having a 90 year old woman take off her shoes at the airport isn't going to make anyone safer. Replace TSA employees with uniformed guards on every flight.

-Require everybody to retake their driving test every three years. Too many people have forgotten how to drive safely.

-Require everybody to perform one week each year of public service. Even something as simple as answering phones at city hall.

-Replace Air Force One with an F-16 that I will pilot myself. And always have it armed to the teeth. Yeah I'm landing in your country with more armament that a B-17 could carry; it might be in your best interests not to fuck with my country.

-Replace the boring Cadillac presidential limo with an armored CTS-V. Possibly a Ford GT with James Bond-like defense systems.

-Ban NASCAR and the Indy Car Series. Demolish the speedways and turn them into proper road courses.

-Offer tax incentives to everyone who buys a motorcycle.
-Along with that: Harley Davidson owners who spend more time polishing their chrome than riding their bike will be fined.

-Ban all music that isn't created by people playing instruments. Rap, hip hop, and R&B I'm looking at you.

-Ban the use of leaf blowers. The appearance of your yard isn't worth annoying the crap out of your neighbors.

-Ban stores from displaying holiday merchandise more than 30 days before the holiday. I should not see Valentine's Day cookie cutters two days after Christmas.
 
1. Abolish children beauty pageants, completely.
-Any parent who puts make-up on their child before the age of 12 is punished with painful facial chemical peels, have their eyebrows shaved off and eyebrows plucked.
-Any parent who puts fake tan on their child will be punished by being forced to endure hours in a tanning bed, and then be slapped with a wet towel.

2. People who beep at Learner Drivers will be forced to drive a Prius for the rest of their life, with a large sticker on the back of it saying "I AM AN INCONSIDERATE, TIGHT-ARSED GIT. BEEP AT MY SHITTY DRIVING AND EVEN SHITTIER CAR". They have to pay double tax on their car for the rest of their life, and they have to publically apologise to the person they beeped at, wearing nothing but a thong made from Alistair Darling's eyebrows.

3. Anyone caught driving a caravan will lose their license on first offense. If they are caught again, they will be blown up, without warning.

4. Anyone who talks during a movie (in the cinema) will have their vocal chords replaced with ones that will make them sound exactly like Alan Carr.

5. Anyone caught driving while talking on their phone will be pulled over, and forced to eat their phone piece by piece.

I'll think of more later :p

EDIT - Christ, I sound angry, :S
 
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shellygrrl said:
* Banish the Pledge of Allegiance. No more flag worship!
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Hear, hear! QFT. It's creepy to see an entire classroom's worth of children stand there and recite that thing like creepy little automatons that are creepy.

shellygrrl said:
* Disband the RIAA.
* Make torrenting 100% legal.
* Make the Interstates Autobahns between 11 pm and 6 am.
* Anyone (single person or couples) who want to be (a) parent(s) have to be licensed.
* Lower the drinking age to 18.
* All licenced drivers will have to be re-assessed every ten years. If they fail, they lose their license for a year.
* Cancel American Idol, then banish Ryan Seacrap. And his smug little face.
* And he can take all those Dizznying pop star wannabes with him.
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All these too, please.

ETA:

KaJuN said:
-Lower the drinking age to 18. An 18 year old is just as much an adult as a 48 year old, why should they be treated any differently?
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Also this. You can vote for a president, fight in a war, and establish a permanent criminal record, but you can't have a beer? WTF?

KaJuN said:
-Ban the use of leaf blowers. The appearance of your yard isn't worth annoying the crap out of your neighbors.
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And emphatically this. There is no noise more intrusive nor unnecessary than a GD leafblower.
 
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KaJuN said:
-Ban NASCAR and the Indy Car Series. Demolish the speedways and turn them into proper road courses.
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I wouldn't be so harsh. I think I could improve both series immensely (At least one I know I can!)

NA$CAR: Force a rewrite of the regulations, essentially turning them into something like DTM cars on steroids. 750 bhp+, forced induction allowed, no cylinder count limit, 5.0L displacement normally aspirated, 2L for forced induction, and far looser aero restrictions. Introduce more road and street courses. Keep the great historical ovals. No more than one race per track a year. Maximum budget, around the average of the top teams.

Then introduce an actual stock car class, where the cars are required to be based on the actual car sold. You know, like a real stock car.

Cue migration of rednecks to the latter, and everyone else to the former.

For IRL: Institute the vehicle regulations of CART from the mid-90's. An even mix of road, street, and oval courses. Fire Tony George.
 
Also, when i come to power i will destroy the universe...
 
KaJuN said:
-Ban NASCAR and the Indy Car Series. Demolish the speedways and turn them into proper road courses.
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But then where would I go to see boring races that aren't F1?



I forget what all I had planned for when I come to power, I know part of it had to do with Australians and the Bathurst 1000. So, new list!

When I come to power...

- speed limits will be adjusted accordingly to whatever I feel is safe.

- there will be less suburban sub-division building.

- speaking of sub-divisions, people that work together and live in the same area will carpool.

- handegg will become America's national past-time.

- hybrids will be banned and car companies forced to research actual alternative fuels. And Ford will be forced to make a nuclear car, instead of that one-off concept.

- GMC will be abolished and Pontiac brought back.

- the Bathurst 1000 will become a national holiday. And the absurd drinking limit will be revoked.


I'm sure there will be more later.
 
^ That reminds me...

Saab will be sold, and Saturn resurrected and given to Penske. And for being so annoying in promising to sell, and then killing these brands, GM will be forced to give them away for free.
 
1. Cyclists off the road.
2. No speed limits in rural areas. Reasonable ones in city limits, with no excessive fines. Officials who use "funding" as an excuse to lower them will be put in the stocks for members of the public to throw rotten food at.
3. Make it harder to get a driver's license...even if that meant I wouldn't pass.
4. Legalize Internet piracy. Legalize weed. Legalize gay marriage. Abolish minimum drinking age. Reallocate law enforcement-types to doing work that actually keeps the people of my queendom safe, like going after burglars and rapists and drunk drivers and such. (Read: not sitting in a parking lot with a speed gun.)
5. State car is...erm, are...a few very quick things. Mwahaha. No limo. No chauffeur. I hope not to meddle in the affairs of my people so much that I'd have to keep busy while travelling between places.
6. Replace my school's board of regents with a bunch of Puffalumps. Install a competent non-interim president. Let the faculty take care of more decisions on stuff--they seem pretty smart on those issues.
7. More Puffalumps.
8. Simplify tax system. No more complicated paperwork.
9. Add ninjas to country's system of defense...because ninjas are awesome.
10. Force music channels to actually broadcast music again or change their names so as to not defraud unsuspecting consumers who might think MTV would have (gasp!) actual music television.
11. Make me cry without good reason and I'll put you in the stocks next to the guy who wants to lower speed limits to rob my people of their hard-earned cash.
12. Appoint KaJuN Minister of Holidays and racingfan1 Minister of Bathurst.
13. Cut off bailouts. No more. Ever. Also, offer a prize for resurrecting Pontiac with properly awesome awesomeness.
 
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You guys all think too small.

Here's what I'll have when I'm in charge:

I'm reinstating slavery. The stupid people have to supply electricity for the rest of us through manual labor. Their reward is continued existence.

And there's the harem, of course, and my personal bodyguard team (there may be a little overlap between those two). And my massive team of astro- and rocket-physicists, cuz we're going to space! Me first, of course.

I'll probably need an army of robots, to keep the people properly subjugated. So I'll need a few top AI scientists, machinists, and programmers to keep the robot army properly maintained.

I might also need a designer, cuz I'm starting to sound rather like a comic book villain, which means I need a kick-ass outfit.

And, since I'm going to be a villain, I'll need a nemesis. Any takers?
 
American TG Man said:
NA$CAR: Force a rewrite of the regulations, essentially turning them into something like DTM cars on steroids. 750 bhp+, forced induction allowed, no cylinder count limit, 5.0L displacement normally aspirated, 2L for forced induction, and far looser aero restrictions. Introduce more road and street courses. Keep the great historical ovals. No more than one race per track a year. Maximum budget, around the average of the top teams.
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Would this include reclamation of the historic tracks left to deteriorate in the name of the two most boring tracks on the circuit?
 
Hmm, without going into too much detail I would:

-Greatly increase the standards of education.
-Remove speedlimits on the interstates but introduce a ferociously strict late etiquette policy.
-Drivers test ever 3 years where you will actually be tested on subjects such as car control and basic maintenance.

If anyone really cares, I can go into the governmental reforms I'd want implement, but I don't want to put everyone to sleep. Let's just say, there will be come changes.

-Put priority on research for further technological advancement. I want people to be excited on how awesome the future will be, not afraid that we will destroy the planet with plastic water bottles.

More if I think of them.
 
Old Lace said:
-No one would be allowed to suspend Parliament for months for their own selfish reasons (I'm looking at you, Harper). If Parliament has to be put on hold as it were, it has to be voted on by all members and it has to be for a very good damn reason.
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THIS. (If I were Canadian, of course.) :nod:

KaJuN said:
-Ban stores from displaying holiday merchandise more than 30 days before the holiday. I should not see Valentine's Day cookie cutters two days after Christmas.
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How on earth did I forget that?! Definitely that, too.

Karoug said:
Also, when i come to power i will destroy the universe...
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Oh, snap!
 
Keep thinking. My robot army is on its way to your house right now.

YOU WILL BOW BEFORE ME, MINION!
 
Hello Lupin, have I got a great job for you!!! :wicked:
 
Faraday cages! W00t! Except how do the robots move?
 
Note to self: release the ninjas...

...like, now.
 
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