It turned out they were there from the company that makes the incredible Gran Turismo computer racing game, and they were in England to map out and chart the Top Gear test track for inclusion in the next, even more realistic version. Of course, it was very important that I met the boss.
Naturally, there was much bowing, and a lot of accepting and presenting business cards with two hands. Obviously, I didn?t give him my business card because I don?t actually have a business. Or a card. But I found one in my pocket ? from David Linley, the furniture maker, strangely ? and gave him that. It didn?t matter. He couldn?t speak English. None of them could. Which is why they weren?t offended by my shirt.
But then, equally inevitably, out came the cameras. Many hand signals suggested they wanted me to pose with their head honcho and, of course, I obliged. It would have been rude to say no. But not, as it turns out, half as rude as appearing in the firm?s promotional material in a T-shirt bearing the worst word in the world. Which is what?s happened.
I would like, therefore, to take this opportunity to apologise to the man, the company he runs, all of the children in the world who've been offended and the people of Japan. I am so very, very solly.