The Funny Maths Thread.. which sometimes contains mildly amusing pictures

[xicedlovexoxo]

I've noticed around here that the self-checkout usually takes the longest because people are stupid. And they ignore the "__ items or less" signs, especially on the actual fast checkout lanes. I like self-checkout, when there aren't a bunch of twats holding up the line. But my opinion has changed since I've become a cashier - if I can do it, any moron can.

 

[Aston Martin]

But my opinion has changed since I've become a cashier - if I can do it, any moron can.

I once shouted at a cashier, turns out i'm not 'The Flash.' Shes scanning like a motherfucker, by the time I emptied the trolley there was shopping piled up at the end, of course it's impossible to open the bags. The finger rub never works, I think I said something like "for fucks sake" She looked and I had to just blame the bags.
So I'm just throwing anything in to a bag, potatoes on top of bread? Fine, just let me leave.

Home delivery doesn't work either, i'm just going to forage from now on.

 

[Pedrocas]

The faster a cashier scans the articles, the slower I bag them. Sometimes I even bag them alphabetically.

 

[captain_70s]

I once shouted at a cashier, turns out i'm not 'The Flash.' Shes scanning like a motherfucker, by the time I emptied the trolley there was shopping piled up at the end, of course it's impossible to open the bags. The finger rub never works, I think I said somethig like "for fucks sake" She looked and I had to just blame the bags.
So I'm just throwing anything in to a bag, potatoes on top of bread? Fine, just let me leave.

Home delivery doesn't work either, i'm just going to forage from now on.

I hate when that happens, they just fling everything through and expect me to bag everything at light speed.
Me, with no hand/eye coordination and a total lack of depth perception, attempting to jam pizza boxes into a bag already containing a loaf of bread and a pint of milk whilst the people behind me look on in disgust at my retarded flailing.
I generally end up throwing everything randomly in bags then stopping outside to rearrange things so I don't squash stuff and get the bags vaguely equal in weight

The self-service never works properly:

"Please put item in the bagging area"
*places item in bagging area*
"Please wait for operator assistance"
*FML*

 

[katwalk]

Or if you have a line of like 20 people and all of them are angry. Why the fuck are you buying 3 20 packs of filtered water bottles at walgreens anyway? Fuck you we can't even fit the damn thing on the counter to scan it, we are a drug store not a supermarket, we're not equipped for a full shopping cart of crap to be done quickly.

 

[Emarline]

I never have any problems with the self-checkout. I know the ones at Stop & Shop work properly, and there's usually not a very long line for them. But when I have a lot of stuff, I just go for the cashier with the shortest line/the next-shortest line if the people in that short line have a fuckload of stuff in their carts.

 

[Pedrocas]

 

[Raparperi]

The faster a cashier scans the articles, the slower I bag them. Sometimes I even bag them alphabetically.

So...the faster (=better) a cashier performs at his/her job, the more of an asshole of a customer you become?

Looks like the "keymaster" strikes again.

 

[frankiess]

The faster a cashier scans the articles, the slower I bag them. Sometimes I even bag them alphabetically.

What the hell is wrong with you, man?

 

[KaJuN]

Laws of physics? Too mainstream.

 

[MWF]

So...the faster (=better) a cashier performs at his/her job, the more of an asshole of a customer you become?

Looks like the "keymaster" strikes again.

I don't agree with his response but cashiers who scan too fast annoy the hell out of me. I load the belt in a specific order to go in particular bags to avoid damage and for ease of unpacking at the other end. I will not pay until I have everything packed and back in the cart so they aren't doing anyone any favours because in the end it makes the whole process longer and delays the people behind me.

Fortunately the Ukanian supermarkets seem to have recognised this fact and train them accordingly as it is very rarely an issue here.

 

[MXM]

I will not pay until I have everything packed and back in the cart...

... What? Why not pay immediately when you can and pack the rest later? Do you not have the large area after the cash register where all the stuff goes? It's not like it will fall off the table.

 

[Pedrocas]

So...the faster (=better) a cashier performs at his/her job, the more of an asshole of a customer you become?

Looks like the "keymaster" strikes again.

Faster doesn't mean better. I hate those cashiers that scan all the articles so fast that they start pilling up even before I can spell the word bag. So, the faster the ass of a cashier scans my stuff, the slower I bag it.

 

[Pedrocas]

I load the belt in a specific order to go in particular bags to avoid damage and for ease of unpacking at the other end. I will not pay until I have everything packed and back in the cart so they aren't doing anyone any favours because in the end it makes the whole process longer and delays the people behind me.

Exactly what I do. I load the belt with the heavy unbreakable stuff first, the soft and fragile articles last, fruit aside, so it's easier to bag them and I hate when the cashier scans everything so fast it starts pilling up and messes my specific order. Also, I never pay before bagging and having all the bags inside the cart.

 

[captain_70s]

... What? Why not pay immediately when you can and pack the rest later? Do you not have the large area after the cash register where all the stuff goes? It's not like it will fall off the table.

Then there is the issue of whether or not the cashier starts on the next person immediately and forces you to get out of the way. I always pay after bagging my stuff, doesn't matter how fast they scan if the customer isn't bagging that fast, same time is lost.

Exactly what I do. I load the belt with the heavy unbreakable stuff first, the soft and fragile articles last, fruit aside, so it's easier to bag them and I hate when the cashier scans everything so fast it starts pilling up and messes my specific order. Also, I never pay before bagging and having all the bags inside the cart.

WHS.

Although I rarely have a cart, when living on my own I was limited to 2-3 bags as that's all I could carry home reasonably. :lol:

 

[MXM]

Then there is the issue of whether or not the cashier starts on the next person immediately and forces you to get out of the way. I always pay after bagging my stuff, doesn't matter how fast they scan if the customer isn't bagging that fast, same time is lost.

We have 2 or 3 separate areas after the register, and cashier selects the empty one to put your stuff in. You pay for your stuff, and you go bag it, and the idea is that you're done by the time next person has stopped paying (in the case of 2 areas). It's efficient, since someone is bagging while someone else is paying, unlike in your case

 

[Ford Prefect]

I think some of you people need to have yourselves checked for signs of OCD or something... Sure there is some sort of system to my shopping, like putting the eggs in the bag last, but it?s not rocket science that requires any sort of specific speed. I hate waiting in lines and appreciate it when the people in front of me get things over with as fast as possible...

 

[MWF]

I think some of you people need to have yourselves checked for signs of OCD or something... Sure there is some sort of system to my shopping, like putting the eggs in the bag last, but it?s not rocket science that requires any sort of specific speed. I hate waiting in lines and appreciate it when the people in front of me get things over with as fast as possible...

You're posting here and you don't have OCD?

 

[stiggie]

When did the customer service department stop being about serving the customers?

I was a supermarket cashier for six years and despite working at a discount grocer, we never would have dreamed of asking a customer to pack their own bags. A skilled cashier can easily scan and pack (well) a trolley of groceries faster than a customer could pack the bags themselves. I hate those self-serve checkouts too. Not only because they will put people out of work and are contrary to the concept of customer service, but also because on the rare occasions that I've been forced to use them I have found that the security features make it impossible to scan your items at the speed I was accustomed to going when I was a cashier. I reckon I could serve 3 or 4 express lane customers in the time it would take them to each serve themselves simultaneously at separate self-serve registers.

 

[MWF]

Here they always ask if we need any help packing.

OCD says "No, thank you" and smiles sweetly.