The Final Gear Wacky Races - RACE THREAD.

Team DSRacing's Red Bull Lola has just overtaken Ice's pooped out hamsters for 20th place. The car handles beautifully, although the bumpy surface is causing the car to rattle around quite badly. Not to mention the bumps make it difficult to put full power down, even with traction control, out of a turn. Even so, we are gaining on the 19 finisher, as once on a straight road, and the turbo boost cranked up, it absolutely flies.
 
Japanese reliability still doesn't disappoint team FD, which keeps its place at 15th. FDaihatsu is spacing out in the driver's seat, thinking about the work he has to prepare for Monday...
 
After lengthy delays outfitting the Canyonaro with a rear spoiler, I make my way back to the circuit and rejoin the race, however it looks as if my troubles aren't entirely over just yet. My team manager has just radioed me to say that the police are on their way! Somehow they're blaming us for the theft and are in pursuit...
 
Shortly after finally getting the car started, we set off into the midfield, leaving a trail of broken ornaments and empty Special Brew cans
 
I was sleeping at the wheel and James May took over for me. He, obviously, needed to get everything situated in the bus before he started, and as I came too he was just getting ready to step on the throttle, after naming it Geoffery, and cleaning it with a damp cloth.

More to come once I get situated.
 
After a period of dozing off (IRL) and dozing off near the BBQ grill setting everything alight, a small burning spark flies off the grill and lands on lurker's head, waking him up as screams "hot hot hot hot hot". Gman puts the fire out and lurker, for good measure, tosses a few pieces of burning coal at the other cars.

Lurker then mans the wheel while Gman continues to power the thrusters with the few mexicans left over in their stockpile. *Lurker points at the big one eating his tamale*

Lurker turns on the speakers in the car and on the wheels and takes the built in microphone (which he installed in the last minute) to yell out his disclaimer. Team Scuderia Gman-Lurker Brown Shakedown is not racist by any means, and no mexicans were harmed in the making of the engines.... well ok not many mexicans were harmed.......... ok they all were now be quiet....
 
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We're doing reasonably well now, having caught up the main pack. However, it is now time for the first pitstop, as I hand over to Crazy D for the nightshift who is filling in for Krusty the Clown. We have reason to believe now that Krusty informed the police of our, err...borrowing of the F35 engine from the Pratt and Whitney factory, and he's taken off to escape our wrath.

Run clown, run :evil:.

In order to confuse the police and prolong any chances they have of discovering our location, radio silence will now be observed for the next several hours. See you in the morning!
 
We are forced to crank up the volume on the 'Best of The Specials' casette due to an alarming knocking noise from the front wheels. Khaled has been informed and is making his way to the pitstop.
 
It was nearly a disastrous start for SKL as team captain KaJuN mistook GMT for meaning Groovy Mambo Time and thus was planning for the race to start much later this evening. The team narrowly escaped disqualification by a quick-thinking Mr. Lincoln who quickly prepped the racing machine. However, being of 18th century origin, he didn't fully grasp the concept of pumping up the Super Soakers which caused the cart to swerve violently to the right nearly taking out half the field. KaJuN, in a fit of frustration and trying desperately to hide his stupidity, randomly lobbed a purple tomato into the air which hasn't landed yet. How will this factor into their racing strategy?
 
The DSR Lola has hit problems. He's had to pull over to let the hordes of military and police vehicle chasing team RBR by. And by the looks of of the line of vehicles, he could be there for a while.

/Red_Bull, take my advice... RUN!!!
 
FDaihatsu gets angry on Donington who claims that a BL car is better than his, So he tries to ram him :shakefist::shifty: *nihihihihihi*
 
OMGGGGGGG I'VE JUST STARTED. I R LATE! Good thing I shot my whore (my vehicle) shot up with roidz. She's also lost all her clothing. That shit is dead weight. We're spreading teh AIDz to everyone we pass. Look the fuck out!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
Team Parklife rockets into the pits....a bit too fast, colliding with another team's equipment. Mardem-Bey appears, and diagnoses the Granada's problem as various nodding dogs and dancing hulas have become wedged into the wheelarch. After discarding them, we are on our way again, this time with Tyrone at the wheel. Should be an uneventful stint...are those police sirens?

Shit! what was that? A look around reveals a tiny car attempts to push us off. Using FBI-style negotiating techniques, I explain the K-car I meant were boxy eighties Plymouths, not small Japanese-mobiles.
 
^ Wait a minute, BigDaveDogg, everyone you pass suddenly pulls over to nail your disease-riddled cum dumpster?

AmTGMan takes several places from drivers who have stopped to nail BigDaveDogg's whore, not even bothering to glance at the whore in question, as URC (Unbreakable Racers Concentration) makes it impossible to focus on anything other than driving fast and keeping the car on the road. Also, I have a race to win!
 
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American TG Man said:
^ Wait a minute, BigDaveDogg, everyone you pass suddenly pulls over to nail your disease-riddled cum dumpster?

AmTGMan takes several places from driver who have stopped to nail BigDaveDogg's whore, not being bothering to glance at the whore in question, as URC (Unbreakable Racers Concentration) makes it impossible to focus on anything other than driving fast and keeping the car on the road. Also, I have a race to win!
Click to expand...

LOL OMG WE'RE ALL ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD RUNNIN TRAIN ON THIS CHICK!!!!!

edit: lol 69(9) posts. perfect
 
I stop for tire changes, too much wheelspin. Patiently reversing to park... just in front of vikiradTG2007's Focus XD
 
Having lost so many places due to Brick-Shothouse leader Matt not changing the Land Rover gearing, giving the roaring V8 shed a top speed of about 85, the team decide a short cut is required to get them back in the running. This is of course what Land Rovers are for.

The team cut a big chunk of the course, going straight though a shallow swamp and picking up a few crocodiles/alligators in the process. They seem to be enjoying the ride, and the engine can cope with the extra drag, so they stay there. As they join up with the track in 2nd place ahead of many of the high speed leaders, the now-brown coated carawagon coats the track in a layer of mud, water and alligator shit. How will this affect the other racers?
 
Fueled by the incredible nutritional properties of purple tomatoes the drivers of SKL pump away with the Super Soakers powering the cart up to a brisk 18.42 mph. Mr. Lincoln was seen breaking traditional form by blatantly flying the bird as the team passed a broken down vikiradTG2007.
 
The carrier takes a detour through a military base, and is joined by a pair of Apaches.
The competition had better watch out for Sidewinders.
 
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